actually it's Day 4...wait.... *sigh* lets start from the real beginning:
I AM A FOODAHOLIC.
that's me.
i'm a 24 year old woman from Queens, NY. i come from a family that loves to cook and LOVES to eat. i have been overweight ever since i was a teen, even though i was an athlete in high school, my eating habits were poor. just god awful. i love all the stuff you shouldn't have too much of; sweets, starches, heavy cheese, fried foods....shall i go on? and when i get my hands on any of my faves, i can't eat in moderation. i feel like i have to GORGE until it's hard to breathe.
i've tried several diets over the years: weight watchers (3 times), atkins, cabbage soup, low cal and low carb. i even got a trainer for 6 months (my wallet hated me for months). each time i started a regiment, i would have moderate success(the most was 30lbs) and then i would cave and revert back to my unhealthy lifestyle. but looking back, i can tell that i was never in it 100%. the most would be around 85% because i would occasionally cheat, but i never realized until it would be too late that i was cheating myself.
around a month ago, i started to feel really self conscious about myself. i began to see myself as a 24 year old with the body of a 45 year old. i was at least 150lbs overweight, i stopped going out with my friends as often as i used to because i didn't want anyone to see me like this anymore. i didn't want to see me like this anymore. and then it happened...
my best friend got engaged.
and made me the maid of honor.
i took the role because i love my friend very much and i know she'd do anything for me, just as i'd do anything for her. anything. and one thing i know my friend wants is for me to be healthy and happy. she being a weight loss success story herself, tries to get me to make good choices when we're out. in the past, i have chosen to do the opposite, not even considering the effect it could have on her maintenance. when i realized this, i felt so selfish. i know that she would love me no matter what i looked like on her big day, but i can't help but want to look healthier and happier as her maid of honor.
so, like i do in times of despair, i talked to my mom.
she told me that my grandmother had secretly been on jenny craig for 5 weeks, and she was having great success with it. it's funny that at that point, i had felt like i had tried any and everything to lose weight, but in actuality had completely forgotten about jenny! well i decided at that moment that not only am i going to lose weight for this wedding, but i'm going to lose weight for myself, and maintain a healthy lifestyle for life.
so last saturday, may 14, i went into a jenny craig center and signed myself up for a full year membership on the Metabolic Max program. my councelor is Michelle, and i love her. she totally gets me and is a great inspiration herself.
how it works:
they gave me my weeks worth of jenny food (3 meals a day). they include a weeks supply of anytime bars, which serve as your daily vitamins, and a yummy snack for each day. they give you a 'menu' for the week, which tells you when to have what. you also have to supplement their food with your own veggies, fruits, dairy, and allowed seasonings and flavor enhancers. so while they only provide you with one snack for each day, your fruits and dairy make up for the other 2 snacks you have to have.
how it's been going:
well i've been on it for 4 days now, and their food is DELISH. i've had beef chow mein, meatloaf (a fave), cheesy enchilada, and this morning i had french toast. i hardly find myself hungry (you eat six times a day for christ sakes), and i pee all the time. yes, i drink 64 oz of water daily. i also have eaten more fruits an veggies in the past 4 days than i have all year. my only problem is the incorporation of cottage cheese every day. to be honest, cottage cheese is fucking gross. sorry for the language, but you're going to have to get used to it ;-) i have tried several things to make it edible, and it simply isn't. i just have to choke it down and bear with it.
i look at this as a road to recovery, in a way. food is an addiction to me. i find myself getting a craving here and there. it's hard because i live with other people who aren't dieting, so i can smell no-no food all around me. but i think as long as i keep looking at this as a rehabilitation of sorts, i can keep my eye on the prize and succeed. (way to sound infomercial-like -_-)
on to day 5......
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